Shrapnel
by TheMagicWorks
Summary: It was like shrapnel. Stuck in her body, mind, heart. Shattered, painful pieces of her heart. Short, sharp memories together. Long kisses, warm hugs. Every shot, every death. Every bullet, every crime. Every touch, every look. Every smile, every tear. Every cry for help.


Eve hit the wall, her hands flying to her face as she began to break into uncontrollable floods of tears.

"I've killed him." she mumbled, her whole body shaking softly. "I killed James Bond."

James Bond was dead, the James Bond the world loved and needed. It was as if the world was crumbling at it's core. Falling away, sucking everything good out of her. She had no strength, her mind filled hopelessly with longing for something good. She cried heavily, faster, sobbing. She was hungry, starving but could not bring herself to eat.

She slumped gently against the wall for support, crippling over into herself. She was trying to put back together the pieces of a shattered heart. Her head pounded as her trembling body shook violently with tortured sobs.

As she tried to open her eyes, tears boiled over her cheeks. All she could sense was her shoulders falling, fists clenched tight. She felt older, wearier than ever. She had rivers of mascara lining her eyes. They hadn't been there this morning.

This morning she'd been with him, in his embrace as they'd woken up in the same bed. His chest had been just covered with a white sheet. She'd pulled it back slightly, walking her fingers up his chest. His hand had traced her spine, reaching up to her like a reflex. She'd blinked herself awake, her eyes coming to a rest on the beautiful, dark, mysterious man beside her. As he'd grinned at her, she'd smiled back. She was so happy just to be this close to him. A hand gently resting over his beating heart. They'd kissed, lightly, his hands on her body. Their love was secret. Most mornings, she couldn't quite believe he was there with her, for her, wanting her.

And now that's all she wanted.

She was so tired, it was as if she was shutting down. Her whole body ached. Sleeping only resulted in nightmares, horrible visions. The nightmares were terrifying and she always woke up screaming. Nobody was there to stop her. Except they weren't really dreams. Just like deja-vu. Bad things she'd already experienced in the flesh. One particular fatal event that kept replying in the back of her mind.

The sound of M's voice telling her to shoot, to take the bloody shot. The shakiness of her hands as she tried to aim the wretched gun. The harsh, crisp sound of a gunshot firing out toward him, knocking him down, sending him down below. The silence after he was lost.

She felt like there was nowhere to run to. She felt as if she'd never be happy again. It was all her fault. She knew it. The way everything she'd ever loved could just leave her was painful.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to picture him. He was always just so perfect. His suits, his face, his body. The way his clothes hung on his frame. The softness of his skin. The way he could always keep his cool. The way his lips arched into a perfect smile. These images brought a slight to comfort her. She longed to see his eyes, his beautiful, perfect eyes. A deep blueish-grey in the corner of her brain.

Just in her blurred vision was the very gun she'd shot him with. She wanted to get rid of it, to never fire a weapon again. She might as well find other employment because she knew it'd be too painful out there on her own.

She took frantic breaths, like her oxygen levels were dropping. She couldn't do this. She was desperately trying to steady herself but she couldn't at all.

It was like shrapnel. Stuck in her body, mind, heart. Shattered, painful pieces of her heart. Short, sharp memories together. Long kisses, warm hugs. Every shot, every death. Every bullet, every crime. Every touch, every look. Every smile, every tear. Every cry for help. And the one time when he'd actually said it. "I love you, Eve." She sobbed. It all hurt so much because it was now so distant.

He was dead, gone, forever lost.

Bond, James Bond.


End file.
